Finding a therapist is like finding a good pair of jeans or a new romantic partner. It takes some time but when you find the right one, it’s all worth it.
Since becoming a therapist, many of my friends and family members have asked for help finding a therapist. It’s an intimidating process if you don’t know where to look or what to look for. And while I wish I could write a short Buzzfeed-esque article titled, “5 Easy Steps to Finding a Therapist”, unfortunately it is a bit more complicated than that. But like someone once wrote in all of our yearbooks, “good things take time”.
Where To Start When Finding A Therapist
One place to start when finding a therapist is exploring different types of practices. There are private practices, like Table for One; group practices; community mental health organizations; and online platforms, like Better Help, Talk Space, or Cerebral. If you’re looking to use insurance, you’ll want to make sure your therapist accepts insurance, as not every therapist is credentialed with every insurance. Group practices and Community Mental Health organizations are typically credentialled with most major insurances, but some private practices are, as well. I detail some pros and cons to different types of practices in a blog titled, “Types of Practices."
Therapy Theories
Every therapist has a theory, or often multiple theories, they use to guide their work with clients. Some common theories you may have heard about are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). If you have no idea what any of those things are, you’ve come to the right place. I summarize different types of therapeutic approaches in my blog, “Types of Therapy." In addition, many therapists have specific areas they specialize in; like grief, trauma, addiction, depression, anxiety, etc. I make note of some specialties in that post, as well.
It is not essential that you understand types of therapy when selecting a therapist. It can be helpful to take a look and see if there are any theories that align with you; however if that step overwhelms you to the point where you want to put your computer away and go back to watching Friends re-runs, than feel free to just skip that step entirely.
The Most Important Factor When Choosing A Therapist
While knowing areas of concentration and theories are helpful when starting the process, at the end of the day, there’s something to be said about trusting your gut. Research shows the most important factor in a client’s progress in therapy is not the interventions a therapist uses, the amount of schooling they’ve had, or the theory that guides their practice. The most important factor in the client’s progress in therapy is their relationship with their therapist.
Your relationship with your therapist matters more than anything else, so it’s worth it to shop around.
In the first couple of sessions, check in and ask yourself if you feel comfortable continuing to share with this person. Do you feel listened to? Understood? Respected? Accepted? Disarmed? Challenged? If so, buckle up. This is where the fun begins.
If It's NOT A Good Fit
After a couple of sessions, if you do not feel connected to your therapist, it is OK to tell them that. Any good therapist knows the importance of the therapeutic relationship and should not take it personally if you do not feel connected. And If they do take it personally, that should validate you even more. Also, by telling your therapist, they may be able to connect you with a colleague they think you’ll click with. If you prefer to avoid that conversation entirely, you can simply cancel your next appointment and never reschedule.
Conclusion
I hope this in conjunction with “Types of Practice” and “Types of Therapy” are helpful for you as you navigate the murky waters of starting therapy. The hardest part is getting started, and you’ve already done that, so you’re on the right track 😊
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